


things i wished i said but never did

by matchamark



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Reminiscing, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28853961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchamark/pseuds/matchamark
Summary: he knew this wasn't the book's intended purpose, but mark still found himself writing in it anyway.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Kudos: 18





	things i wished i said but never did

he glanced at the clock, 2.14am. six hours since he left. mark took out the sleek black book, a gift from donghyuck. "hyung," he said "you're gonna be a famous writer one day! i just know it!"  
with red rimmed eyes and trembling hands, mark began to write:

things i wanted to say but never did

1\. i miss you. i miss your honey skin, your dazzling smile, the way you would laugh and tease me for everything, and anything. i miss your voice, smooth like butter, beautiful like none other, the way you could hum out any random tune, and it'd sound like a serenade. i miss you and your sunny disposition.

he breathed out shakily, theres no going back.

2\. i wish you were still here. by my side instead of with him. you promised me forever, now why am i the only one who kept it? that sickenly saccharine smile that radiates from you when you're with him physically hurts me? can't you tell? i'm thinking back to the days where we'd laugh till the sun rise, ending up tangled in the sheets. 

3\. you were the only thing keeping me sane. now that youre gone, i dont know what to do, i dont know what to think. i've gotten so accustomed to having you around that when the doorbell rings i'd rush to the door, calling for you. only to scare the poor postman half to death as he says, "i'm.. not hyuck, but could you sign this please." im utterly lost without you.

4\. i need you. how did i ever manage to go about my day before i met you, before i met your incessant screaming that just made sense, now that i've experienced you, how do i go back to before? without my other half, it feels as though i am wilting away, just like a flower without the sun. i can't even begin to think what'd it be like to continue living without my seretonin, my endorphin.

his vision started to blur, watery pearls building up in his eyes as he wrote,

5\. i love you. i wish i told you that before you left. maybe you'd still be with me? im sorry.

there it was. mark ripped the page, nearly tearing out the notebook's spine in the process.  
before, donghyuck had always been there to put the pieces back together, who would do that for him now?


End file.
